This one comes from my heart. So if only one person finds this article useful, it has fulfilled its purpose. This is for the weak and obedient.
I often look around and see people who get bashed by the same person who they try to impress. It’s like they are a slave to a master.
The person who hurts them most, gives them the most pleasure when the master is happy with his slave.
I know a co-worker who always hides behind her computer screen, trying to not be noticed. She always feels disrespected by the male co-workers and especially by the bosses.
Oftentimes, she complains about being treated badly. But at the same time she is as nice as an angel around her “torturers”. She acts weak and obedient.
Her situation compares to the cases where victims fall in love with their kidnappers. The victim is afraid of pain – no matter if physical or psychological – and therefore is happy when the kidnapper treats the victim well.
For a time, I listened to her complaining because I thought I could help.
The reality is the co-worker has chosen to be the victim. That’s a common problem in our societies. Instead of being strong and ready to fight, we are cowardly hiding behind a victim mentality. As if blaming others would solve a problem.
My female co-worker is not the only person I know who choose to be a victim instead of showing strength and living life on one’s own terms.
Over time, I recognized certain excuses that are common to use:
1. The others will think bad about me when I change
This hast to be the most common excuse.
You are afraid of being judged by others that you live a life on everyone else’s but not on your own terms.
Often I ask mental victims: “What are you afraid of?”. And they almost always say: “I am NOT afraid of anything. Um, it’s just…uh I dunno.”
The thing is, that most people don’t recognize the feeling of being judged with fear. But IT IS FEAR. It’s the fear of being judged as insane or being outcast. So the timid worker (you) does everything to please his colleagues and tries to fit in as good as possible. No matter if he buries his real beliefs and intentions.
But there is nothing to be afraid of. If you don’t like to go out and party, then you don’t do it. Instead, you do something worthwhile. If you have goals in life and purpose, the impact of others opinions decreases dramatically. If you are happy with yourself, nobody can touch you. You cannot hear their words anymore.
2. I think I will fail. So I rather stay weak and obedient.
What if you succeed?
Alter your way of thinking and correct your mindset.
Change your perspective on life from negative assumptions to positive thoughts empowering you. Because like this, you can power through any obstacles that might get in your way.
Don’t doubt yourself. Be proud of yourself. Don’t be weak and obedient.
Grow some balls or eat some shorts.
3. I love my life as it is.
Let me guess … on Mondays you have a bad mood and talk about next weekend. You hope to overcome the pain of your meaningless and unfulfilling job. You wish the weekdays go by fast and weekend lasts forever, drowning yourself in alcoholics and what not. If you are like that, you are like most people. Most people are mediocre without even noticing it. Do you want to be mediocre?
Start hating your life now to start loving your life later. You need the frustration and anger to start something new.
It’s why you found this site. You know deep within you, you don’t want to live your life anymore on others terms. That’s because you hate it.
You need to think straight to create something great!
4. I don’t want to be an asshole.
If you think being dominant and straight forward, being strong and honest, being emotionally stable and living life on your own terms, is something assholes do, then – congratulations! – you have been properly indoctrinated!
But jokes aside, being weak and obedient will get you nowhere in life than where you are now. If you are not 100 % happy with it, you must change something about you, right now.
5. My family/girlfriend won’t like my new self
Don’t get me wrong. Family first, everything after your family. If they really love they will support or at least understand you. They won’t judge you. If they do and you later succeed, they will be the first to congratulate like:”That’s our son. We always knew he would make it”. Mark these words.
If your girlfriend won’t support your new lifestyle … Think about how your relationship is. Is there something you are missing? Are you really happy with her? Do you really love her?
If there are doubts: You will find a new one anyway. And with your new goals and a purpose in life, you will get hotter ones anyway.
6. I don’t want to be alone or lose my friends
I know, this is a hard one.
Society and media has taught you, that the more friends you have, the more of a better person you are.
But let’s think about it. Mediocre people oftentimes have lots of friends. And believe me, they need them. Because they have nothing special to burn for in life. So they go from one social activity to the other without ever doing something worthwhile.
Drinking beer and watching football or hanging out is something little boys do because they don’t know it better. I always feel disgusted when I hear that my almost 40 year old co-worker still goes clubbing or to festivals hoping he could find a good wife somewhere there.
Real men don’t find fun in mindless activities like dancing and drinking. Real men build, work and exercise. And they teach the weak and obedient for that they also grow stronger.